


The Morning After--Demelza

by Genie60



Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 23:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7821865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Genie60/pseuds/Genie60
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demelza's thoughts on the morning after her night with Ross.</p>
<p>What did she do? And what will she do now?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Morning After--Demelza

The door closed and Demelza felt like it was not only shutting her in the room but out of Ross’ life.  She had to get out of there before he came back so she dropped the wilting batch of cornflowers on the table and scurried through the kitchen, gathered her few belongs, including the cloak he had bought her walking out of the house and out of his life.  She called for Garrick and hastened to get as far away from Nampara and its master as possible.  Never did she think that giving herself to him would end like this.  But apparently that’s what gentlefolk did; sleep with their maids and cast them aside.  Even if the maid loved them.  Which Demelza did; she had fallen in love with Ross Poldark almost from the day he saved her.  So seeing him in the parlor, with his first and possibly only love, Mistress Elizabeth Poldark, hurt beyond measure.

And now she needed to escape before he came looking for her to talk; she didn’t want to talk for she knew that if they started that, she would confess everything making the situation worse, for sure.  She found a lead to tie to Garrick’s neck and led him towards the beach.  She had told Jud and Prudie she was heading towards Sawle but she needed to clear her head first to figure out what exactly had happened. Walking to the shore, she put her feet in the cool water and reflected on the previous night, while Garrick chased seagulls.  Staring at the clear blue sea, she didn’t see water, but she Ross’ face as it looked down at her last night.

 Was she mistaken about what she thought had happened?   She knew she was wrong in wearing the blue dress but she didn’t think he would be home and she just wanted to see what it was like to wear something so beautiful.  She didn’t expect his anger to explode in the way it did and it scared her. The threat to send her back to her father after her father had said the same thing was unacceptable.  What she also didn’t expect was that Ross’ kiss would unlock something she didn’t know was inside her.  Demelza felt immediate heat and wanted more. When he pushed her away, the loss of his grip on her waist and his lips against hers were as if someone had pulled a warm coverlet off your body leaving you to face the chill of a morning.  She felt empty.  When he left her alone, demanding she go to bed she thought about the options.  Ross wanted her to go, her father was coming to get her and so did it matter what she did at this point? Decision made, she blew out the candle and headed up the stairs.

Demelza knew what she was doing when she offered herself to Ross and apparently he had no objection.  The hesitation at the knowledge that she was virgin was fleeting as the passion between them flared quickly.  They came together as if they had been made for each other and had lain together many times.  Her hasty retreat in the morning was more for his sake than hers; she didn’t want Jud or Prudie knowing what he had done as they would spread the gossip faster than water rolling down a hill. Just as she did now, where she left before he could find her, Demelza had dressed and lost herself in the fields spending most of the day watching him.  That is until she gathered her flowers and headed back to the house, intruding on the scene that sent her here. 

Seeing Elizabeth in all her glory brought Demelza back into reality. Ross would never, could never feel for her what he feels for Elizabeth.  Who’d want an uneducated, simple brat from Illogan when all the grace and refinement a gentleman could want lived a mile away?  She’d heard of arrangement made amongst the gentlefolk that allowed them all to live in civilized adultery.  Perhaps that’s why she was there; to come to some sort of arrangement. Demelza could see in Elizabeth’s face that she knew something had happened between her master and herself which is why she made the biting comments that hurt to the core.  And yet she wasn’t mad at Elizabeth for saying them rather at Ross for not coming to her defense.  It was then that Demelza knew she didn’t belong there anymore. She had given her body and heart to this man, which he took, but gave nothing back in return. Not even an acknowledgment that she was important to him and his household even in some small way.

The water was lapping at her feet which calmed her.  She was tempted to shed her clothes and take a swim just as she saw him do months ago.  Looking around and seeing no one she decided why not?  Taking off her dress and breeches, she dove in wearing just her shift.  She hadn’t realized how sore her body was until she felt the water hit it, soothing her every muscle.  The events of last night made not only her limbs ache but now, her soul. Not wanting to dwell on this anymore she knew she needed to get moving if she was going to make it to Sawle in a decent time.  Plus she needed time to determine what she was going to do and where she was going to stay.  If word got around about what had happened or even if the gossip mongers set their tongues wagging, the only option for her would be to find employment in some house of ill repute. Yet she did not think that low about herself to stoop to that option.   She would have to do her best to find employment in some household that was in need of any kind of servant.  That she was not too proud to do.  As long as it was honest work, it would be fine and she would put Ross Poldark and all he held of her heart in a memory box to be taken out only when absolutely necessary. 

Dried and dressed she tied Garrick again and walked back up the hill to the path.  She wasn’t sure how long she had been walking but her small satchel was beginning to weigh heavily on her shoulder and Garrick was being pesky, yanking at the lead and pulling her along.  She was attempting to pull him back to her when she heard a voice.

“I engaged you for two years. What do you mean by running away?”

**Author's Note:**

> The other side of the story. Just something I played with wondering what was she thinking standing at the shore.


End file.
